Thanksgiving Eve

i decided to brave the streets on this Thanksgiving Eve and drove into Kailua Town to run some errands. it’s about a 5 minute drive from my house to this Town...unless there are idiots driving about...then it’s about a 20 minute drive. frickin’ idiots. my first stop was Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. it was uneventful except for the idiots in front of me who couldn’t decide on what they wanted to drink and kept thinking they were in Starbucks and ordering in Starbuck-ese. idiot: “venti, please.” coffee clerk (cc): “large?” idiot: “no venti!” cc: “you mean a large or do you want regular?” it was a good thing that i told myself before i left my driveway to be patient today and to understand that there will be stupid idiots out there. so expect to get nothing accomplished, jen. and who the hell decided “venti” is a large?! it does mean the number 20 in italian...nothing relating to size unlike “grande.” and tall? wtf!

anyway, after finally getting my correctly ordered drink lickety-split (i have it typed up and laminated in my wallet), i headed to UPS to drop off a package. it’s located right across the street from where i was parked. but the street is hella-crazy to walk across, so i drove over. as i was waiting for break in traffic to scurry across in my car, i notice this big yellow Hummer-tank trying to back out of a space right in front of UPS. i thanked the parking gods for my good luck...but much to my dismay the friggin’ guy backs up into the truck next to him. i saw the whole thing and i still couldn’t figure out how he did it. somehow he did this weird damage and i could see him wrestling on whether to take off from the scene. he’d be a frickin’ IDIOT to try and get away because of these reasons: 1. it’s a flippin’ YELLOW HUMMER. 2. it’s a tiny parking lot that was totally filled. 3. it’s one of the busiest days of the year with tons of people around as well as dogs as there is vet next door to the UPS store (and dogs can be used as witnesses...i saw it on Law&Order SVU so it’s gotta be true). 4. did i mention is a bright @ss yellow HUMMER? 5. finally, it’s an island...he’s not gonna get very far if we called the cops into play. he did the right thing and waited while the owner came racing out of UPS. busted! i didn’t even have to do my civic duty and rat his Hummer arse out. bummer.

my next stop was the u.s. “suck me dry with weird fees” post office. i went in to mail my christmas cards. HEY...I WAITED AT LEAST 'TILL TURKEY DAY WAS IN SIGHT! people will get my cards AFTER thanksgiving so that’s allowed. ask Emily Post. anywayyyyyyy...i got these really cool cards from Costco. it’s all creative and puffy (i’m puffy but not creative ;-) ). i heard the groan from the people behind me standing in the long @ss line when i pulled out all of my cards. i became smug and overconfident with my efficiency as i tilted one of the cards towards the peanut gallery. i heard some guy whisper “they’re all stamped.” next, a big gust of wind from the sighs of relief was felt. but then i asked the question...”is this enough postage” (‘cause i was all smug and all) and i wanted that elusive "awesome customer" award (oh, it's out there, people!), and all the air was sucked back out of the room. a big groan came next when my postal dude said “nope” and went to look for some device to show me why. he couldn’t find it and seemed to get flustered as i asked why i would be charged extra if they were the same size as the other cards. he finally gave up looking for the “device” and told me that the cards were over-thick. yep, over-thick. and the charge would be +$0.42 on the already $0.42 i have on there. WHAT?!! 2 stamps? it's not double the fun, here. friggin’ A. i gave up trying to argue the fact that you can smoosh my cards thickness until it was of “regular” thickness as the huffing behind me from the line was getting louder. i cracked. i grabbed my cards and dumped them back in my Trader Joe’s recycle bag and booked it out of there. i had a couple of books of stamps at home i could use...there was NO WAY i was gonna have the postal dude tally it all up and post each one while the monkeys behind me start breathing MORE of their germs on me. i swear a couple of them sneezed on me on the way out. i used my whole x-large container of handi-wipes in the post office parking lot to wash the cooties away.

i next had to go to Don Quijote aka Daie aka local-Japanese version of Kmart but way smaller. they carry the green tea my mom drinks and she needed a few bottles. as i was walking to the tea section i saw 2 ladies. one was really really older (90+ years) and the other lady was just older (70-80 years). what intrigued me about them was the older lady. she was wearing high heel wedges. pretty cool for an older lady as she was walking like she was wearing slippers. i know i couldn’t pull it off as gracefully (put some oxfords on me, though, and i’ll kick some runway @ss!). but it was this lady’s one-piece turquoise bathing suit with a miniscule see-thru wrap around her hips that mesmerized me...as well as her very red lopsided wig. it was quite a sight, let me tell you! i started following her around to grab a picture on my cell phone but dang she can move in those heels. i finally caught up with her at the checkout counter and elbowed a woman out of the way so i could be right behind the older lady. while she was busy situating the really older lady on a chair to rest before checkin out, i was able to snap a photo. mission complete! except i forgot about the flippin’ tea. dangnabit!

i finally ended my round of errands at Safeway to pick up ice for my grandfather. the parking lot was insane! frickin’ unbelievable insane. and all of the handi-capped spots were filled. wth! i debated on leaving and looking for ice in Antarctica but a spot opened up. the woman backing out almost hit and killed a large older man slowly walking with a cane. you couldn’t miss the guy, he was that big! and he was moving so slow you couldn’t miss his slow shuffle. once i made sure he wasn't going into cardiac arrest from THAT scare, i bopped into the spot, got the ice and left the store. i had a car follow me to my parking spot and in no time i started backing out...when an impatient IDIOT got too impatient and impatiently drove around the car waiting for me to leave. the car almost hits me broadside. HORNS HONKING EVERYWHERE!!! me included, although i was facing the wrong way so the people in front of me thought i was honking at them. i just threw them a shaka and it was all good. i finally back out and roll down the window to throw a thank you shaka at the car waiting for my spot as she made room for me to get the frick out of the space. we gave each other the mutual “thank you...no thank you” waves and off i escaped to get my booty home.

i’ve learned to take a step back and be thankful for my experiences as i took so much for granted before. any experience...good or bad. it means i’m frickin’ alive.

hope you have a nice relaxing day stuffing yourselves with tons of food. Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

Working out

i spent my work-out time yesterday walking in costco. well...that was a big f*ckin' mistake. i walked every aisle and then walked out of there with costco employees cheering me and one customer asking me sarcastically if i knew that there was a recession going on. dude, i haven’t been in there in months and there is friggin’ xmas stuff everywhere. it was crazy! crazily enough, i didn’t buy much food items...as i usually do. it was all stuff. stuff for birthdays coming up. stuff for xmas. stuff for my dumb-@ss dvd collection. how can anyone pass up a digitally restored collector’s edition of tim burton’s “nightmare before christmas?” hello...it’s jack skellington, the pumpkin king of halloween town!!!! damn you, costco.

It's the OLYMPICS!!! my thoughts...

i love the olympics. it's got everything...drama, sports, various ages participating, and healthy competition within the international arena. some friends of mine consider me addicted, especially as i don't seem watch much sports games throughout the year. but it's the OLYMPICS...how can you NOT watch with anticipation the competition between the very best athletes in the WORLD who are mainly competing for the sake of competing and do their country proud. unlike american sports where the athletes seem to get more spoiled by the year and the games have become all about the money rather than the sport and the fun of competing. where's the dedication? as an olympian, dedication is ingrained, training is brutal and it's survival of the fittest is key. whether you win or you lose, an olympian remains an olympian forever.

i don't understand how anyone can miss that asians tend to age slower than caucasians and other ethnic groups. this may be why the chinese womens gymnastics may look younger than others. considering the amount of training these chinese women have to maintain throughout their lives...i consider that equal to other standards. not too mention the threat of death by their own gov't if they lose---allegedly!!!!

hey, what is up with handball? i didn't even know this is an olympic sport. running, jumping, hurdles, rowing, wrestling...it get that the ancients competed in those sports but handball? i don't understand it...is it basketball? is it soccer? is it lacrosse? how the hell did this sport get overlooked when the IOC decided to get rid of softball and baseball. yeah...baseball and softball are american dominated sports. so, if that's the issue and the criteria for eliminating them, then get rid of badminton it seems only china and indonesia dominate THAT "sport."

i love watching volleyball. whether it's team or beach...it just fun to watch. especially beach volleyball where it seems amercian music rules and it's a friggin' beach party in cali rather than in the motherland. the dj plays like 20 songs over and over so that by the time the first set is over, even the afghanis watching the game (in the stands or in their tent) can sing the first 3 lines of chumbawamba's "i get knock down/but i get up again/you never gonna keep me down" or queen's "we will rock you."

and why do the men's beach volleyball get dancing girls during the breaks/time-outs? why can't the women's volleyball get some straight "thunda from downundas?" sheesh! grab some of the soccer guys from brazil...i know they'll dance for the women's beach v-ball. those guys will dance for anything...and i MEAN anything.

speaking of beach v-ball...i just watched beach v-ball between georgia and netherlands. georgia won in only 2 sets and let's just say the dude with the curly hair on the georgia team was very HAPPY about that...especially south of the border. after the game point, he made a dramatic run from the sand ALL the up to the top of the stands to stand by the georgian flag. and this is where you can see his "happiness" prominently or as the chinese would describe it "his sacred jade." what's even more interesting than THAT is the georgian beach v-ball players are actually brazilian. they gave up their citizenship and couldn't play for 2 years in order to play for georgia. we are talking about the country of georgia or the republic of georgia...not the banjo-playing, "squealin' like a pig" georgia. so what the hell do these guys know that we don't that they would give up their citizenship to a county now at war with friggin' Russia? raise your hand if you think it's just a matter of time before georgia is gobbled up by the ruskies! cease-fire, my arse.

anyway.....................back to th big O (olympics, i mean). why do i find synchronized swimming so fascinating and scary. it's so fascinating to see how long these women are able to hold their breath and do all those intricate moves with their legs (let's see if phleps can do THAT! i still think they should check his DNA for dolphin or seal chromosomes). but it's so frickin' scary when the pop out of the water and you see their faces. YIKES!!!

as this is an olympics where so many of the sport events are being televised for the first time, the announcers for the sychronized swimming were scrabbling to get a clue on how the sport was actually judged. they finally got a professtional and former synch swimmer to help explain the sport. there's the swordfish move and the blender as well as the scissors with a bit of chopping involved. i felt like i was watching to the Food Network. i confess that i might've made up a few of those names but that's what the moves looked like to me. before they get into the water they do some weird-a** pose before diving into the water. then the swimmers pop out at the end of the routine with grins that rivals the joker's in this years batman. the make-up...omg...the make-up is sooooo scary. worse than tammy fae baker, ariel from little mermaid at disneyland and amy winehouse put together. it's no wonder this sport wasn't telelvised mainstream. it's too scary to have close-ups.