shake shake shake! shake shake shake! shake your booty!

i can now say i have survived an earthquake. who would’ve predicted that Chino Hills would be the epi-center of a 5.6 earthquake? what the heck is going on? and why do i always seem to be SO lucky to have experienced such a thing?! wtf?!!

let me break the quake moments i experienced down for you:

the quake started out slowly. i was on my way to the post office (p.o.) in my friends Toyota Tundra (big a** truck). as i was drove by a construction site near the p.o., i felt the truck shake and heard a rumble. at first, i thought something was up with the truck engine but the truck didn’t stall. then, i thought it was the constructions dudes that might’ve hit the truck or something. when i looked around the truck during a red light, i didn’t see any damage to the it.

so onward i go.

i get there, park in my handi-cap spot, and mail my package. i head back to the truck and slide into the driver’s seat. as i turn the key to start the truck, it starts rockin’ like the craziest ride at Disneyland (“wildest ride in wilderness!!!” – Big Thunder Mountain http://gocalifornia.about.com/od/toppicturegallery/ig/Disneyland-Rides-Frontierland/Big-Thunder-Mountain-Railroad.htm). my head was whipping back and forth and i was trying to hang on to anything in that cab.

now, i’m not sure why...but my immediate thought while all the rumbling and shaking was going on was that the engine was gonna blow! really. the engine was on it’s way to exploding with me in the truck. either from a bomb that was placed under the truck (by those bastard Chino Hills groundhogs in retaliation for my murdering their brethren in my friends yard last summer) or because i somehow put the wrong gasoline in when i filled up the day before. i just knew that i had to get out of that truck immediately.

so, i bolt out of the cab and head for the palm tree (thank goodness a car wasn’t parked next to me or i would’ve had to somehow jump and roll over the hood to get to the tree!). not noticing until later that i’m barefoot, i’m trying to hide my body behind the tree (‘cause that’s what they always do on CSI when a car blows and they survive); but the friggin’ tree is shaking like it was in a category 4 hurricane (i know hurricanes...let me tell ya). now i’m looking up at the tree thinking what the hell is wrong with it as it’s a clear blue sky day with no wind.

that’s when i noticed the grandma-lady.

she’s standing a little ways from the truck with her armed crooked to hold her handbag. she is a stylish california grandma with that look of superiority (you KNOW she lives in a gated community somewhere in Chino Hills). anyway, i glance over at her and she is staring at me. i'm not sure if she’s upset ‘cause she heard me swearing on my way out of the truck and at the friggin’ tree, or if she's worried about some hispanic-looking chick (i'm portuguese not mexican, lady!) acting crazy; but she tells me, “honey, it’s only an earthquake” in that tone that convey's what an idiot she thinks i am.

it took me a moment or 2 to process what she said as i was worried about her getting blown up since she was in blast range. then it dawned on me what she said...and that i might've over-reacted. just a bit.

since i was out of breath (my lungs aren’t quite up to speed yet from all the operations), i just kind of waved at her and threw a grin at her although it was shaky. i shuffled my way back to the truck and watched as the grandma-lady shake her head and make her way into the p.o., which i thought was more stupid than me running around and ducking behind trees. hello! big earthquake...building might be unstable....???!!!! friggin’ californians think they know it all and are invincible. like...what-ev-er.