Hawaiians in Rome

10/7/09 wow....who would've imagined all these Hawaiians in the ancient city of Roma. they all arrived exhausted from Belgium after being greeted like heros by the locals in Fr. Damien's hometown. it is such a trip to see them spread their Aloha to the staff at the Ergife Hotel as well as around St. Peter's Square. today was the audience with il Papa. and it was like the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. each country followed by the naming of each group was introduced to Bene-san the 16th. and let's just say we weren't quiet and stoic when US/Hawaii congregation was called out. we could NOT let the those German Nazi bastards out-yell us. hell NO!!! the Indian priests from India (not to be confused with the Native American Indian priests if there are any) seated next to me were impressed with my finger whistling (a must-learn ability while growing up in Kalihi). unfortunately they only had 6 dudes from their church so needless to say they didn't have an impressive group such as ours. they decided to not stand up and cheer when their group was called after our 5 minute screaming like UH football fans during the June Jones era. but.....they forgot to tell one of their people and it was pretty funny when the group was called and he was the only one standing and yelling. talk about a scene from an Adam Sandler movie. i tried to hold back the laughter but the dude was shown on the jumbo-tron and then all his buddies from his group just busted out laughing. needless to say i joined in and we all bonded....even the embarrassed dude-priest.

10/8: today is catch-up-on-your-sleep day. or shop at the Vatican after a tour of the museum. my mom and i decided to check out the train station and pick up our tickets to Florence. the best way to travel in Rome is by taxi. they are friggin' nuts and fearless. between the crazy moped/motorcycle riders and the tons of buses weaving in and out of the lanes like there are NO traffic lanes, it is dangerous to be on the road in Rome. the cars maybe small and compact but the speed and impatience that they drive is chaotic and stressful. there are Smart Cars everywhere here. even the Polizia have a Smart Cars. how the hell they are able to transport a bad guy in one of those things, i don't know. but they are sure cute and can be parked ANYWHERE.

a difference i noticed in Rome since the last time i was here in the 1990's, the graffiti/tagging is out of frickin' control. it's like i've flashed-back to the movie Beat Street. huge bubble tags with tons of color. it is on everything in the city of Rome. now Vatican City is tagless which makes sense as the city is super small and the Popes guards in their cool outfits from the Renaissance era look like they could kill you with a look...even if they do look like they are heading to Renaissance Fair.

10/9: we invaded Assisi. there is still some construction going on from the earthquakes of 1997. the city is still impressive and on a hill/mountain with an incredible view. and they added escalators to help people get to the town. you have to walk down but it's not as bad on the heart that walking straight up the friggin' mountain. the amount of historical churches and buildings are balanced by the many tourist stores and restaurants located throughout the town of Assisi. St. Francis (totally a nature dude) was it's local son and he teamed up with St. Catherine of Sienna, the patron saint of Italy. the streets are narrow and cobbled but so is most of Italy. as in Rome, there are lots of nuns, priests, brothers and monks wondering about the town. many of them young too.

while people watching in Assisi, i bumped into a leprechaun of a man wearing a Fr. Damien shirt Aloha shirt. as i didn't recognize him from our group, i engaged him in conversation. come to find out that he was a brother from Ireland....a Sacred Heart brother who used to work at St. Patricks on Waialae and he visited Sacred Hearts Academy back in 1973. dude missed me by a few years! he and a bunch of his other brothers were also heading to Rome for the canonization. he was certainly happy to know we were here to represent. i steered our media crew towards this cute leprechaun brother as it surely made for an interesting story.....sort of a "circle of life" thing with him 'cause i'm sure he bumped into a few of the SHA sisters who were on this tour with us who probably knew him too.

Benvenuto a Roma!!

10/1/09 - 4pm mom and i leave HNL on Delta for Atlanta.
10/2/09 - arrive in Atlanta and have a 3 hour layover before flying to Boston. we finally leave Atlanta after chasing down the gate as the airport kept changing it. arrive in Boston only to have a 5 hour layover. exhaustion hits us and we decided to pull a "backpack American" by laying down length-wise on the seats in the International departures. thankfully the area is empty as we are really early for our flight. an hour and half later, we slowly wake up to loud German-speaking folks. man, i hope i wasn't drooling or snoring loudly. i was sleeping on my side so i think i was ok. not that it matters as i don't know anyone here anyway. i am surrounded by people and the minute i sit up, the spot left empty is taken by voracious Germans. we finally board our flight and it is packed. and it's a crappy plane again. btw, all the planes we were on were old and decrepit. apparently, Delta/Northwest got the contract to fly our troops overseas so they used the newer planes for them. i stopped bitching once i heard that explanation.

there are lots of Americans on this Boston to Rome flight who are heading to Italy for their cruise or to spend a week in a Tuscany town....no one there for the canonization though. one older couple across from me were old hands at cruising especially in Italy. they were hilarious. they talked to everyone. they were Jewish (typically so...very Seinfeld-ish), loud and really friendly without being obnoxious or irritating. the plane we were on was so uncomfortable. it was small and the seats were so worn out that there was a permanent butt impression in ALL of them. mom and i were suppose to sit together as were a bunch of other people on the plane. come to find out that Delta under-booked so the larger plane we were suppose to have was switched as we didn't have enough people to fill it. friggin' A! and there was noone to complain to as the plane was Alitalia but the booking was through Delta/Northwest. they each pointed the finger at each other. whatev.

10/3/09 - 7:45am finally arrive in Rome. we depart the plane by going down the steps of the plane and onto a bus. so old school! we arrive at the passport terminal and i'm one of the lucky ones with the new electronic passports. it's suppose to be easier and faster but my passport dude apparently is new to this and is excited to check it out. the people behind me start looking at me in the box like i'm some sort of criminal. mom had gone through before me and turned around to see me still in the box. her instinct is to come back to me to see what's up but the box won't allow it. i wave her off and my passport dude turns to see me gesturing. now he's giving me the "eye." i know i look pretty scary after 36+ hours of travel so using my looks (yeah right!) won't work this time. so i go with the "friendly American trying to use his language" to explain the situation. i could've used the "arrogant American where english is the only language to be spoken" attitude but i really didn't want to be stripped search. i explain that "my mama" is nervous by herself and that's why i'm gesturing. it totally worked. i didn't even have to flash my scar which i had wrapped up in a pashmina. don't wanna scare the natives yet.

we head to baggage claim. i see the "toilettes" and decide to make use of it. this is where it hits me that we are no longer in America. the bathroom smelled disgusting and the toilets had no seats. you have to breath shallow and try not to touch anything in the little room of a toilet. each toilet is a mini room rather than a stall and it smells disgusting. AND this is the women's bathroom. why it smells like urine everywhere, i have no frickin' clue. i'm nauseous just typing about it.

we immediately see our bags as they were the first to come off. i am SO happy it made it. you hear such horror stories about lost luggage.

we grab our stuff and head to the taxi stand. off we go to the hotel: Ergife Palace Hotel.

to be continued......

Weird pedi experience

i had a weird experience today. i went to Windward Mall to get some last minute items for my Italy trip and decided at the last minute to get my toes ready too. i find a place at the mall and got a pedi scheduled right away. woohoo!!

so, let me start with the chairs....awesome! top notch massage chairs. then the bathtub your feet go into is lit up with florescent colors. it was like midnight bowling without the bowling. it would've been super-cool if they turned off the lights at one point to really enhance the effect. but then the pedi-curist wouldn't be able to see what they are working on with their sharp implements....so maybe we keep the lights on.

they had a big flat screen TV turned to CNN. awesome!! catch up on the news while getting my soon-to-be-aching feet ready for the cobblestone streets of Rome. another woohoo please!

here's the disturbing part: my pedi-curist. it was a dude....and he wasn't gay....AND he sort of looked like my manly friend Tai. disturbing!!! the pedi-dude was Vietnamese (Tai is Chinese), and he had hair (Tai shaves his head), but some of his features were Tai-ish. i was gonna try to take a photo of him while he was working on me but it would've been too obvious and a tad bit creepy on my part. it was already weird to think of a guy working on my toes. not sure why that is. i think i equate manly-dudes working on women's toes as being intimate. although that chinese peanut-breath dude in LA doesn't count as he beat me up...there was pain involved and not good pain. have i told that story? i guess i should for the sake of other people's safety as they don't wanna go to this "massage" parlor. story to come soon.....

anyway, my dude did an incredible job and had great hands. he did seem to work on my legs a little longer than necessary but it wasn't the painful massage that seems to be the norm nowadays. it felt really good........almost too good. ;-D

i'd totally recommend him and may return in a few months. i just gotta not look at him or i'll keep giggling at the thought of bald, manly, kick@ss Tai doing toenails creating pretty little flowers designs. if he and his wife end up having a girl next March...he may have a to resort to doing her nails as these places aren't cheap. start practicing on your wife, Tai!

this place also had little massage chairs in animal shapes for kids. there was a place for the feet and they got their own little Vizio DVD player. i'm gonna request the giraffe chair next time.

the lady next to me also had a dude working on her but he was an old dude -- grandpa-san...or whatever the Vietnamese equivalent is to that phrase. the lady had this huge wound on her foot from a horse stepping on her. talk about ewwww!!! why would you get a foot spa with a huge wound on your friggin' foot. no band-aid or anything. i was ready to urp when i saw it after it was soaking in the bath for a bit. do i need to describe the white filmy top layer of the wound? i won't mention how mushy it looked. was real glad her dude was wearing gloves. her dude was saying he could put a band-aid on it and i was "yeah...do that."

and her feet were strange looking. i made a comment about how her foot still looks all swollen from the horse stepping on it and she informed me that was the wrong foot.

ooops. foot in mouth. i started to feel bad by my faux pas but she then asked her guy if he could do a design on her toes that would slim-up her feet. the guy just looked at her. it was pretty funny as his face was totally deadpan. even my guy stopped what he was doing to look at this kook. slim...down...her...feet. wtf? is this what's next for celebrity doctors?

Recycle Bag Lady

you might’ve read about my obsession with Sharpie markers. i am proud to say not one of them got sold at the garage/moving sale. they are all with me in various Starbucks mugs (another item i collect but not obsessively) throughout the cottage. just in case you get the urge to mark something, there’s a marker right there for you. they are my bouquet of flowers that never die.

so...i know i have an issue with the markers as i can’t help going down that aisle in any store to check for any new color combos. but i’ve come to a realization that i have another obsession that has crept up on me. it is slowly taking over my life or at least my new cottage. my new problem/illness/situation is that i have over 20 recycle bags. they make these “grocery” recycle bags so unique nowadays. especially the hawaiian ones. they are so cool looking and have different sizes and uses. you can have an extra large for your beach stuff, pizzas you buy at the store or your keg of beer (i keep hoping the man-Twins will show up); you can have the xtra small size to carry your wallet, cell, ebook and netbook; you can get the medium for all uses; you can get an insulated version to carry hot or cold items; or you can get one that just matches your Crocs. i love them ALL!!

i admit that i have 3 Trader Joe surf bags. they are durable and large and are super cool. i seriously use them. just ask my family. plus they were WAY cheap. $.99....HELLO! had to get ‘em. then i got some hand-made ones from Hilo. they have dolphins on it...need i say more. i also have a few that i got as gifts from others. i blame them for this new obsession. blame! blame! blame! of course it's my fault that i can't stop buying them. just say NO, jen.

my latest buy was the Hawaiian Target recycle bags. i used the excuse that i was getting them as xmas gifts for mainland friends and family. what a friggin’ crock of sh*t! i mean, yeah, i bought one for a possible gift but i didn’t have to buy the second one. they are pricey to begin with ($1.99) but so cool looking. we’ll see how useful the bag is in the next couple of days...

but my most favorite recycle bags that i use exclusively for groceries is my Olive Smart bags (http://olivesmart.com/). they rock!! someone gave these to me as a bday/xmas gift, but i can’t remember who (email me!). it’s 6 bags in one pouch. the material is like surf shorts so you can get them wet and they dry up lickety-split. easy to wash, cool colors and super strong material. the check-out people love to use them to bag my groceries. i SO should be a paid spokes-person for this company as i’ve explained this product so many times to grocery people. AND it holds a ton of food. it can fit 4 DiGiorno pizzas in one bag with room for my blocks of cheese (another obsession we won't get into right now). the bags expand to the point a baby could be held in it...but i would not advise it...Jason and Mac, i’m talking to you!

oh crap...i just went to the Olive site and noticed that they have new colors. so pretty! damn them.

bad boys, bad boys.....

whatacha gonna do...whatcha gonna do when they come for you.

8:15pm 9/3/09

got some cops right outside my door. freakin' right there! 2 cars. lights flashing. they pulled over someone. YELLING at him to turn the car off. do NOT get out of the car! put yr hands on the steering wheel!

i had to blink a couple of times to figure out this was not a show i had DVR'd (i've been watching alot of cop shows for some reason). the cops have the driver (a kid no older than 17 but he was Filipino, so he could've actually been 55) get out and sit on the ground. funny...the kid seemed more upset that they are making him sit on the ground instead of being caught for something or other. kid: "on the ground?" cop: "on the ground." kid: "on the ground?" cop: "did i stutter? i said on the ground." kid: "but it's the ground." cop: "get on the ground NOW!"

2 young girls in the car with him. one of the cops told them that they better call someone to pick them up. one of the girls said she'll walk home. great...she lives nearby and picks winners like this guy to hang with...lovin' my neighborhood.

oooohhhh...now there's yelling. one of the girls is talking back to the other cop. is she stupid?! you never yell back. NEVER! the cop is right in her face yelling "say that again! i didn't hear you. say it one more time!" while the kid on the ground is yelling at the girl to shut up. i can't even tell what she's ranting about. the cop is telling her to say it again and she'll be arrested for harassment.

and even better....kid was pulled over for excessive speeding, no insurance and something else. a tow-truck just arrived and is hooking up the car. all this drama for speeding. friggin' awesome!!!

ok...now the kids are stranded in front of my place with the kid carrying his boogie board. they all start apologizing to the lady across the street from me. "sorry, aunty," they say. the minute the cops stopped the car with all the bells and lights and dweeping (dweep dweep), she grabbed her beer and lawnchair, and was sitting front and center. how tacky! i'm lucky. as i got the height on my patio deck to look down on everything and not have to go out on the street to witness everything. i was pruning my deck plants while keeping an eye on everything. yeah it was pitch dart but you can never prune too much. i think. i hope the plant has leaves tomorrow.

well, "aunty" is now giving them the "what for." at least she cares and just doesn't blow off the incident. oh and she's lecturing the girl on her being "sassy" with the cops. sassy, my arse. totally disrespectful and idiotic. 25 to life for being an idiot!!

man...so much action here compared to watching the geckos fight in my old place or discussing the state of the weather in minute detail with the g-parents....HELLO! it's friggin' Hawaii. we either have the a cloud or it's sunny! :-D

What a pile of Croc

i've been following this writer, Steve Tuttle, in Newsweek...see his rants below. i find him really entertaining and funny. you don't expect that in a news mag. his latest rant-series deals with Crocs. yep...those wonderful plastic shoes that you have a pair or two or three of. you know you do. i do, although i sold a few at the garage/moving sale a couple of weeks ago. i'm down to only 2 pairs now. woohoo!!

i agree with this dude, Tuttle, that the original Crocs do look goofy and clown-like. BUT the "new" FiveFingers (aka Barefoot Alternative) really takes the cake on foot-wear weirdness. i giggled with astonishment while checking out the website. they totally look like gloves. this led me to check out my own feet and to imagine what these "shoes" would like on me. that's when i noticed that feet are really weird looking in itself. what is up with that? they are like hands but stubbier. that little toe is practically useless except to get it caught on something. look at your feet. move the toes around. i'm telling you they are weird looking! and now we've got a footwear to enhance that oddness. is this the right thing to do? there are some really really really really weird looking feet out there that don't need to be noticed. i'm talking about the people with "sideways toes" and the "over-reaching second toes." how they wear shoes...i don't know.

and i KNOW that only hippy-types will be wearing this new "shoe." and sure enough, the other night at dinner with my mom and grandparents, i noticed a fellow diner wearing the 5fingers. my first in-person sighting of the 5fingers and i wasn't even in Colorado. and the guy was a total hippy. i could tell by the way my grandfather was giving him the eye. it was the "damn hippy" eye. plus he had weird hair that looked like it just came out of dreds and was reading Plato (picture me rolling my eyes here). how predictable is THAT.

when the guy got up, he came near me and i asked him about his 5fingers. come to find out...this is his second pair. he just returned from Thailand (huh...again...how friggin' predictable! don't all the young hippies go there at some point in their lives nowadays? did they all get indoctrinated by Leonardo DiCaprio's movie The Beach?). his original 5fingers went kaput while there. luckily, he found a shop that sells them in Thailand and they were original 5fingers, not the knock-offs that are apparently selling like gang-busters in Thailand. who knew South-East Asians would go nutso for 5fingers?

i'm sure if the guy was wearing Crocs it wouldn't have died on him. there seems to be no way to destroy Crocs unless you put them in a chipper. i even think they are fire-repellent. may be we should throw Crocs at the Southern Cal fires and smother it? or cover the Mt. Wilson Observatory with Crocs for protection? or maybe the Myth Busters dudes should test this theory out first....

anyway, the guy told me that it feels like you are walking barefoot but without the "ouch! ouch!" when stepping on baby rocks or hot lava. huh...feels like walking barefoot? that sounds pretty cool. of course, it's just as healthy if you actually walked barefoot, and cheaper too. these 5fingers are $75+ for the most basic model...and they don't last forever like Crocs. but if you want...send me a pair (size 8) so i can give you a "real" review. ;-D

http://www.newsweek.com/id/150240
http://www.newsweek.com/id/154409
http://www.newsweek.com/id/207392?tid=relatedcl
http://www.vibramfivefingers.com/

my addiction...i confess

i’ve got an addiction. it’s been going for years. i’ve never admitted this to anyone...not even to myself. i guess i felt that if i acknowledge this addiction, it would give it power. at first i didn’t think it was a problem. how could i have an addiction? that’s ridiculous! not me? and to be addicted to that? no freakin’ way!

but i’ve noticed lately that when i’m stressed or discombobulated i have to have it...and i need more. and why do they keep making it? don’t they understand that they are just feeding the problem? contributing to the downfall of society? or at least making sure that society is all marked up? i ask why? why produce these addictive items in which i can’t resist getting more and more of them. when i see them i literally start shaking and vibrating with excitement. even though i already have a pack or more at home (maybe even containers of them)...i just need more!! MORE!!!!!!!

i confess. i can’t hold it in any longer. i was at Costco today....and i bought another pack. but it was bigger than any pack i’ve EVER gotten before. it was a beautiful pack. friggin’ gorgeous! i just know that i’ll be fine for awhile now. i won’t need more. i’ll be fine. really! how can they top this?

my addiction is to Sharpie. yes, beautiful Sharpie pens. from the fine points to the fat tips. to the cap markers or the re-tractables which you can get fine or ultra fine. absolutely incredible selections! i’m confessing right now that a week ago i bought the latest ultra fine point retractable Sharpies from Staples in Chino Hills. i was technically suppose to be returning something but had to use the bathroom. it’s not MY fault that the friggin’ store has the pen aisle lined up with the restrooms. you HAVE to walk down that aisle in order to get there. and then they caught my eyes....8 beautiful colors ranging from black to orange to aqua and a blue-green. there is also a lime green. and it was NEW. just released. needless to say i didn’t get any money back from my return since it went towards the purchase of the much needed ultra fine retractable Sharpies. i think i might’ve been on the way to the airport too. ahhhhhhhhh! i was so happy to get this new set of Sharpies. absolutely sublime.

but then i went to Costco today. evil evil Costco. and there it was....in one of the very first aisles. i thought i was satisfied. i thought i had it under control. i had to stop my iPod as it was distracting me from the brilliance of this find. the only song that would’ve been appropriate at that moment was “Alleluia” by the Benedictine Monks...but alas, i didn’t have it on my iPod. this Sharpie pack is 24 colors, fine point with a bonus marker. AND it has limited edition Cafe colors. LIMITED EDITION!!! i had to get it. i needed the earl grey, blueberry, pomergrante, hibiscus tea and the mocha colors. we’ve never had those colors before with Sharpie. friggin’ A! it’s like Christmas or something. they are all so beautiful. so beautiful and colorful. it’s a color extravaganza of 24 colors with an bonus marker of periwinkle. at least i think it’s periwinkle. i really wish Sharpie would mark the markers with the name of the color...like Crayon. hello! it would only make sense, yeah? so this extra color (maybe baby blue?) makes it 25 colors. 25 COLORS IN THE PACK!!! friggin’ awesome! i’m so satisfied. i need a cigarette.

i've been gone for about a month and returned home late in the evening. the next morning i opened the frig for some breakfast and it was EMPTY. some milk, a few eggs, half a sour cream and condiments was all that was in there. did my g-parenets have a party and use up ALL the food in the house? the pantry is skeletal so i go out to the big freezer in the garage and that's EMPTY too. no wonder my g-pa has been giving me hints to get my fanny to the grocery store! he's starving!

so today i head to Safeway. i just finished buying them out. man, i miss mainland prices. hey, check out Fresh & Easy if you have one near you. WAY better than Whole Foods and cheaper. cheaper than Trader Joe's too.

i usually end my grocery experience in the bread section where i stand there confused on the type of bread to get. you've got 12 grain, 9 grain, seeds, fiber, white, sourdough, sweet, or butter. i usually end up with butter. i always fall for it. hoping against hope that it is buttery but it never is...those ba*tards! i must've looked even more clueless than usual as the bread dude, Ken, took pity on me and my melting ice creams (one for g-pa and one for me, of course). he gave me the scoops on the different grains of bread and the different seeds used on and in the breads. we also talked about when we were kids and the only selections available on island were Love's white or wheat. noticing my melting ice cream on the floor he recommended some breads and suggested that i get my ice cream just before check out. now, being portuguese and all fluster that he noticed my growing puddle, i explain to him that i just follow the layout of the store...otherwise i would've thought it through since i did go to college. and then i booked it out of the bread section. i'm pretty sure i heard Ken snickering.

anywaaaaay...just to satisfy your curiosity, i finally settled on the fiber for the g-parents and a seed Omega-3 wheat for mom and i. let me know if you have any questions for Ken. i'll wear my abaya to ask him your questions so he won't recognize me as that dumb@ss portagee girl with the melting ice cream.