What a pile of Croc

i've been following this writer, Steve Tuttle, in Newsweek...see his rants below. i find him really entertaining and funny. you don't expect that in a news mag. his latest rant-series deals with Crocs. yep...those wonderful plastic shoes that you have a pair or two or three of. you know you do. i do, although i sold a few at the garage/moving sale a couple of weeks ago. i'm down to only 2 pairs now. woohoo!!

i agree with this dude, Tuttle, that the original Crocs do look goofy and clown-like. BUT the "new" FiveFingers (aka Barefoot Alternative) really takes the cake on foot-wear weirdness. i giggled with astonishment while checking out the website. they totally look like gloves. this led me to check out my own feet and to imagine what these "shoes" would like on me. that's when i noticed that feet are really weird looking in itself. what is up with that? they are like hands but stubbier. that little toe is practically useless except to get it caught on something. look at your feet. move the toes around. i'm telling you they are weird looking! and now we've got a footwear to enhance that oddness. is this the right thing to do? there are some really really really really weird looking feet out there that don't need to be noticed. i'm talking about the people with "sideways toes" and the "over-reaching second toes." how they wear shoes...i don't know.

and i KNOW that only hippy-types will be wearing this new "shoe." and sure enough, the other night at dinner with my mom and grandparents, i noticed a fellow diner wearing the 5fingers. my first in-person sighting of the 5fingers and i wasn't even in Colorado. and the guy was a total hippy. i could tell by the way my grandfather was giving him the eye. it was the "damn hippy" eye. plus he had weird hair that looked like it just came out of dreds and was reading Plato (picture me rolling my eyes here). how predictable is THAT.

when the guy got up, he came near me and i asked him about his 5fingers. come to find out...this is his second pair. he just returned from Thailand (huh...again...how friggin' predictable! don't all the young hippies go there at some point in their lives nowadays? did they all get indoctrinated by Leonardo DiCaprio's movie The Beach?). his original 5fingers went kaput while there. luckily, he found a shop that sells them in Thailand and they were original 5fingers, not the knock-offs that are apparently selling like gang-busters in Thailand. who knew South-East Asians would go nutso for 5fingers?

i'm sure if the guy was wearing Crocs it wouldn't have died on him. there seems to be no way to destroy Crocs unless you put them in a chipper. i even think they are fire-repellent. may be we should throw Crocs at the Southern Cal fires and smother it? or cover the Mt. Wilson Observatory with Crocs for protection? or maybe the Myth Busters dudes should test this theory out first....

anyway, the guy told me that it feels like you are walking barefoot but without the "ouch! ouch!" when stepping on baby rocks or hot lava. huh...feels like walking barefoot? that sounds pretty cool. of course, it's just as healthy if you actually walked barefoot, and cheaper too. these 5fingers are $75+ for the most basic model...and they don't last forever like Crocs. but if you want...send me a pair (size 8) so i can give you a "real" review. ;-D

http://www.newsweek.com/id/150240
http://www.newsweek.com/id/154409
http://www.newsweek.com/id/207392?tid=relatedcl
http://www.vibramfivefingers.com/